Living in Constant Overthinking Mode

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Welcome to my blog everyone! I have never written something like this before, but it has always been in the back of my mind. I always have a lot to say, but with that super inconvenient IMPOSTER SYNDROME, I often don't say enough. I usually think that no one will care to read what I have to say or that what I have to say isn't significant enough to share, but I know that isn't true.

I follow quite a few people on social media that I don't know, but I LOVE to hear from them. I love their tips and tricks, advice, outfit ideas, and even just seeing their lives or families. I try my best to follow people who bring me peace, and I choose to not follow people or accounts that make me more anxious than I already am. And with anxiety comes overthinking.

Overthinking can SOMETIMES be an alright thing. It can prepare your mind for what could happen, help you with your list of to-do's before a trip, or help you remember all the household stuff that needs to get done. But it can be a problem when it isn't solution-based thinking. Overthinking usually causes more stress and unnecessary anxiety. You cannot let it overtake you. It isn't healthy, and it isn't helping anyone for you to obsess over things you're not going to do anything about OR things that you can't change. Once it becomes obsessive and repetitive, you have to figure out ways to rework your brain. This reminds me of a client I had when I started doing hair. She told me that you need to rewire neural pathways in the brain and that's why it is SOOO difficult to stop bad habits like this. She told me to do this when you're starting to obsess or overthink:

-Close your eyes

-Picture a stop sign

-With your eyes still closed, trace the outline of that stop sign shape with your eyes

But this isn't an actual solution to entirely change your overthinking or obsessing; it's just an in-the-moment exercise that can help stop it momentarily. You will have to do other things to address the overthinking or obsessing. I'd say start doing some research online and try different things they suggest (ex. learning a new skill, meditation, etc.), and you'll eventually find something that can work for you.

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Now, let's get back to this imposter syndrome. I legitimately just found out what this was a couple years ago, when someone mentioned it on Instagram. The instant I heard the definition of it, I was like oh shittttt, this is 100% something I deal with.

For anyone who doesn't know what IMPOSTER SYNDROME is, it's basically feeling like a fraud. It is the self-doubt and belief that you're not as capable as everyone else believes you to be. Certain personality traits seem consistent among people who suffer from imposter syndrome, and perfectionism is one of them. For me, this started at a young age. I'm not sure when it happened, but it was probably around grade 9/10. Growing up, I believed that nothing I did was ever good enough. There was always something that could've been done to do it better, which has trickled into my adult life. But I'll honestly call it "lazy perfectionism" because when you have perfectionism combined with depression, they fight one another to win. (We'll talk about depression in another post because honestly that can take up a lot of time haha).

I usually experience bouts of imposter syndrome when it comes to work. I'll have people or clients say things like "I had NO idea about that" or "That is such a great idea" or whatever else it may be when I bring something to their attention that I think everyone knows. At the moment, I believed that my information wasn't worth sharing because I believed everyone knew about it already. I would feel like my tips or tricks weren't valueable enough to be shared, or that I'd sound stupid for sharing someone so KNOWN. Deep down I think most people can acknowledge that this thought process isn't what's actually going on, and these thoughts are just our own struggles, but a lot of the time it's hard to figure out what's true or not.

So anywho, a big reason why I'm starting this, is to get all this out in the open, as an outlet to put myself out there and try to get past the overthinking. This is MY way of finding something that works to rewire my neural pathways.

-Taylor Dubois